No, seriously…how does that happen?
It’s not a sudden development, it takes time, time to erode the walls you built. Time to weather the stone, shrink the wood, and crack the foundation. It hits you when you least expect it. It drags you down throughout the day slowly reminding you just how alone you are. Images of the past fill your head, your heart races, and your palms start to sweat. Your eye twitches and you think it’s suddenly raining, but you realize you’ve shed a tear. No, this isn’t sudden, this builds up to break down. You start clawing, gazing up at the eclipsed sun. You desperately need the light, yet it evades you even during the day. Clawing, clawing, it’s a constant struggle. It’s a battle the gods themselves fight and never win. Forever internal, forever you build and rebuild walls, trying to cement them with fake smiles and laughter. Clawing, clawing, always looking for a way out. Always looking for the corner of the sun that never quite disappears. Loneliness. It’ll rip you apart before the world gets a chance.
-Wakes up to message from ex-
Fuck. My. Life.
I’ve had an awful day, mentally.
I’ve spent the day hating my body. My looks.
Then I relived past relationships, also currently.
I’m feeling so down and lonely, but I’m enjoying being alone.
I have stuff to do for school and yet no motivation to do it.
Sometimes loneliness just slaps you in the face…